He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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