Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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