You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
