I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
