You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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