Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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