I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
