i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
