so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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