I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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