drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
