So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
