I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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