i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
