so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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