in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I believe in your delicious
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
