So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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