Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
