dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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