I love black thongs
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
