OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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