I love black thongs
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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