New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize