I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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