it wasn't lemon gatorade
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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