What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
