Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
