Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize