you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
sarcasm needs its own font
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
