just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So vagazzling was a success
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize