Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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