do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
