It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
