Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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