I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the day after is always just damage control
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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