were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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