is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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