Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
