I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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