I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
