I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
