so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
