3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I pour the whiskey from now on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
