I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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