so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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