You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
