Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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