It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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