He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
