im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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