problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
