She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
