I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
