like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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