Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
