OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
