before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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