You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize