After last night, I could never be a politician.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
