I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
