I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
