We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
