bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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