The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
