I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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